Lam-ang grappling the Berkakan

Biag ni Lam-ang (Life of Lam-ang) was a pre-Hispanic epic poem handed down from generation to generation by Ilocano people of the Philippines until it was written down by the legendary Ilocano poet, Pedro Bucaneg, around 1630.

Bucaneg, which is known to be blind since birth, was eventually known as the “Father of Ilocano Literature”. Equally to Bulacan’s “Balagtasan” of Francisco Balagtas, here in the North, we have “Bucanegan” in honor of Pedro Bucaneg.

Biag ni Lam-ang tells a story with epic grandeur and tales of borderline absurdity. This, I mean, is that on Namongan’s famous childbirth there were four people who would force Lam-ang out of Namongan’s womb.

And even so, Lam-ang manages to speak seconds after his birth, choose his own name and godparents, and vows to take vengeance against his father’s murderers as soon as he learned about it. He waited for nine months at his ancestral home at Nalbuan, now a part of La Union.

According to tradition, he, alone, would challenge an entire tribe of Igorots but left only one tribesman at his mercy and lived to tell the tale of his exploits.

The blood and dirt of all his fallen enemies would adhere to his skin. After the battle, he took a dip in the Amburayan River and upon immersion; upon the stench, all of the fish and aquatic life died as filth awash. Maidens of the nearby village attend to aid him soon after.

Yet, the story here is not the absurdity of desire or strength of Lam-ang’s revenge but his dedication to his beloved Ines Kannoyan who was known to have lived at Calanutian, Sinait, Ilocos Sur.

Ines Kannoyan was the embodiment of great beauty and many men would line up to woo her, in fact, even creatures and characters of mythology. Lam-ang encountered, one of which, the proud and pompous giant Sumarang to whom he would soon defeat in a duel.

And, Lam-ang took it to the extremes to make the lady’s attention his own; he sent two magical pets at her keeping. One of which is a white rooster, that its crow could tear an entire house apart, and then a gray dog, who could reassemble an entire building at his bark. And these took Ines’ parents’ attention.

Traditionally, men offer dowry twofold to all of the combined wealth of the woman they intend to marry, at least that was a challenge for Lam-ang. He offered two ships full of gold, this made the Kannoyan’s parents left in awe, and then they were married.

But these were not enough. Tradition also states that a newly married man should swim in the river in search of the elusive fish called “rarang”. And there, Lam-ang met the whopper of tides and waters, the Berkakan.

In Bucaneg’s manuscript, it is well debatable if the Berkakan was a Shark or a Crocodile, but logically, the location was a river, it must be a Crocodile.

Alas, in Berkakan’s mouth, Lam-ang faced his doom.

This edifice commemorates the epic battle of which Lam-ang soon recovered with the help of Ines and her magical pets. His bones were gathered. The rooster crows and the dog bark simultaneously. Soon, Lam-ang’s body was restored to life.

The epic of Lam-ang reflects the history and lore of the Ilocano people in the Philippines. With every twists and turn, the valiant and proud people from the North have endured across conquest, tribulations, and skirmishes.

Biag ni Lam-ang tells how in Ilocano society the love for our family and ties of blood is our best priority. Through it, Ilocandia never truly survived without the familial warmth.

Perhaps we will wrestle our own Berkakan, one day, in search of our own “rarang” not for ourselves but for the people who holds our deepest regards. One must be strong to accept and face the taunts of reality.

Here, at Kapurpurawan White Rock Formation at Burgos, Ilocos Norte, the effigy of the long remembered epic that stands up until today is waiting for every would-be tourist to turn their heads and reminisce the past, the origin, the tales, myths, and culture of Ilocano heritage and the lessons it conveys.

via Daily Prompt: Paragon

Ice, Ice, Baby!

FROM 2014 ARCHIVES

“The world seems to be ice-numb on ALS, until this year”

Sometimes our body just stops from working – this phenomenon is called death. But, what if, you’re still alive and your body starts to disintegrate. You’re trembling not because you are tensed but because you have something serious. You unconsciously move your hands and kick your feet but not because you’re possessed by a spirit. You can’t talk not because you are tongue-tied but because you just can’t… but why? Why can you not? The reason might be is because you experience ALS.

ALS, also known as Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis and Lou Gehrig’s disease, is a progressive, fatal disease of the motor neurons that control the skeletal muscles of the body. The disease characteristically produces a wasting away of the muscles that have lost their nerve supply, resulting in weakening and paralysis. There are also signs of spasticity, or stiffness, of the muscles and exaggerated reflexes. Eventually, ALS results in total paralysis and respiratory failure. The senses and intellect are not affected.

The onset, or first appearance, of ALS usually occurs between the ages of 40 and 70, although it may affect people anywhere from 20 to 90 years of age. The onset and course of ALS varies from person to person. Common early symptoms include persistent weakness and fatigue, and muscular stiffness, twitching, and cramping. When the upper extremities are affected first, the person may drop things more frequently, and experience diminished hand and arm control. If the lower extremities are affected first, the person may trip and fall more frequently. Some people notice slurred speech, excessive saliva and drooling, or difficulty breathing. Periods of uncontrollable laughing or crying may occur.

There is no specific diagnostic test for ALS; physicians try to rule out other disorders that affect nerve and muscle function. For example, muscular dystrophy is another degenerative disease that results in wasting of muscle tissue. But in muscular dystrophy the muscles themselves are affected, while in ALS it is the nerve cells supplying the muscles that are affected. Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a progressive, autoimmune disease in which the body attacks its own cells. In MS, the protective myelin sheath surrounding the nerve cells is progressively destroyed. Unlike ALS, the course of MS undergoes long periods of remission, during which people are free of symptoms, and the expected survival of people with MS is much longer than those with ALS.

To rule out other disorders, tests are conducted to measure nerve response. Diagnosis may also include magnetic resonance imaging of the spine, biopsy (surgical removal and microscopic examination of cells) of muscle and nerve tissue, and blood and urine tests. An accurate diagnosis is critical and the ALS Association recommends that a person diagnosed with ALS seek a second diagnosis from a physician who sees many ALS patients. Because ALS develops so gradually, the disease has often progressed 20% to 50% by the time a diagnosis is confirmed.

How the “Evolution” Works?

Change is constant in our cosmos. These progressions have steered to life; and even life is a subject to change. What kind of change? It began with a prominent scientist named Charles Darwin. The theory of evolution by natural selection, first formulated in Darwin’s book “On the Origin of Species” in 1859, is the process by which organisms change over time as a result of changes in heritable physical or behavioural traits. Changes that allow an organism to better adapt to its environment will help it survive and have more offspring; but Darwin is unconsciously studying the effects of something much bigger science yet-to-know discovery of all time – the molecular blueprint of life known as DNA.

Evolution is fascinating because it attempts to answer one of the most basic human questions: Where did life, and human beings, come from? The theory of evolution proposes that life and humans arose through a natural process. A very large number of people do not believe this, which is something that keeps evolution in the news. Billions of years ago, according to the theory of evolution, chemicals randomly organized themselves into a self-replicating molecule. This spark of life was the seed of every living thing we see today (as well as those we no longer see, like dinosaurs). That simplest life form, through the processes of mutation and natural selection, has been shaped into every living species on the planet.

Evolution is a process that began billions of years ago and still runs up to this day. Evolution has told us how the colossal diversity of life advanced. It showed us that how ancient bacteria can be the ancestor of millions of species living to this day. Evolution answers the question of why are there so many physical dissimilarities we have like seeing a domesticated cat similar to a wild cat such as a lion. How is it possible to have an ancestor that looked so different to them?

Evolution is the development of life on earth. To comprehend it much better, we need to take a closer look at the animal kingdom excluding fungi, plants, bacteria, and Protista. First, let’s ask question on how can a single animal developed to several species. Speaking of species, what is species exactly is?

Species is a group of living organism that is capable of reproducing to one another. A dog to a dog or a cat to a cat is an example of species while their offspring are also able to reproduce in recurrence. A dog will produces a dog while a cat produces a cat. To understand it better we need to know certain points: First, the uniqueness of every organism is guaranteed by excess reproduction of offspring and heredity, second, the natural selection.

  1. Evolution may proceed because of uniqueness.

Uniqueness is simply being unalike from others. Every creature is of unique specimen which by then essential to the progression of evolution. Your sibling might look similarly as you but both of you have something in different. One of you might be smarter, braver, bigger, smaller, taller, etc. but what is the reason of your differences?

Every living creature has cells. These cells have nucleus. A nucleus has chromosomes. Chromosomes have DNA. A t molecular level, these DNA comprises of genes. Genes are considered the blueprint to which how our body should behave or appear physically. They contain orders from your parent’s cells the traits you will soon display. Precisely, this DNA is unique to each creature. But how is this enormous differences created?

  1. The excessive production of offspring.

One key factor of uniqueness is the excess production of offspring. This happens when parents produce more offspring than it should. The more offspring, the more diverse the gene pool to be selected. Creatures are wired to produce more for the survival of their own species. Competition to their surrounding and even to their siblings has initiated death to some unlucky beings. And this is what Nature wants, the more little differences the better and more diverse it is.

  1. The second major cause of uniqueness is heredity.

This time it doesn’t take place only to the offspring itself but to the offspring which became parents. Heredity means the forwarding of DNA to offspring. This time, the genes are handed down for the progression of generations to follow. We all familiar with heredity when our ancestors have given something to us as an heirloom such as house or a necklace but this heredity is all away down at molecular level where your actual cells behave as they are according to the genes your parents have given you. There two key things that happen in this process – the recombination and mutation.

  1. Recombination affects the hereditary materials that make an offspring.

The recombination is the random mixing of genes of two different creatures. When two creatures mate, they recombine their DNA twice. The first time they do this is individually; inside their body they form sperm cell and egg cell. The gametes take half of the genes and shuffle them. The second one happens when a male inseminates a female. Their genes are randomly shuffled again and thus forming a new offspring – fifty per cent from father and fifty per cent from the mother. These offspring has random characteristics their parents have producing diversity towards their genes even further.

  1. Mutation is also important for evolution.

Mutations are random changes in DNA itself. Right here, the body has not control over mutation but rather it is an occurrence of a molecular mistake triggered by toxins, chemical substances or radiation. This point in time, the DNA is altered can form some serious changes. This can be harmful or beneficial to an organism. Some mutations can develop diseases like cancer or oddities like blue eye colour in humans. It is the sperm or the egg is affected with this because they are the only DNA in the gametes is passed in the offspring. When these irregularities passed to the offspring, the diversity of life will soon be vaster.

In conclusion, recombination and mutation change the DNA so that each child looks different to its siblings and receive a random mix of the characteristics of their parents creating further diversity. The key word here is “random”. All of these processes are based on chance.  But, how there could be such chance if organisms are perfectly random to their environment? The answer is natural selection. Each individual is subjected to a process called Natural Selection.

  1. Natural Selection as Darwin theorized.

As stated before, each animal is different from the other and there is an extensive variation within a species. The effects of changes not only happen inside but also from the outside environment. These are selection factors which include: predators, parasites, animals of the same species, toxins, and changes in habitat or in the climate. Now, every creature has different mix of traits and characteristics which will help them cope with certain environmental factors or not as the case may be. Anyone with unsuitable mix will be cast off from living while creatures with suitable characteristics for their environment remain to continue its line. This is why diversity is important – the survival of the fittest.

This is why creatures need to produce different offspring as much as possible as nature permits. They increase the likelihood that at least one of their offspring passes nature’s gene filtration process. They maximize their chances of survival. This is how new species is created by evolution: through the interaction of unique individuals, the excess production of offspring, recombination and mutation in heredity, and finally, through selection.

Why is this so important? It tells us where the variety of life comes from and why living creatures are so perfectly adapted to their habitats. But it also affects us personally. Every person is the result of 3.5 billion years of evolution, and that includes you. Our ancestors fought and adapted in order to survive. This survival was extremely uncertain thing. If we consider the fact that 99% of all species that have ever lived are extinct, then you can consider yourself part of the success story. The dinosaurs have disappeared but you are alive because you are incredibly special, just like other creatures that exist today – irreproducible and unique in the arms of cosmos.

The Ego Speaks

As a developing child, experiencing and exploring various roles to direct ourselves into the abyss of future is both natural and necessary in which we learn what we should be doing in the forthcoming years of our lives. We develop emotions to ourselves and to others like envy to supplant our insecure self into our ideal personality. A sentiment such as envy is wired into our undeveloped mind in order to build the better persons we should be in the future. We do not examine it rather we just feel ashamed to admit we are already feeling it. But like emotions we have, it is there to help us know what we want. At least in a childish manner, we express the envy for betterment. It is an instrument to define our roles in society in general. It is the fragments of our future ego trying to break free.

Envy in areas in my life showed me what I really want. I want to be happy for as long as I love what I am doing. The questions, should I envy people I hated or envy the people I love or adore? Envy to me is not synonymous to hate. But unlike joy or laughter it is not something I am proud of telling to others but it mostly something I am fond of doing. Envy is not excessive in nature as long as it is checked. It greatly affected my ego, my pride, and my humanity as a whole. Do I feel envy when I see gay people? Yes. Do I feel envious with the homosexuals? No. I do not feel envy towards them but I feel envy about them being always gay (happy). To that I learned that to be something I want, which is to be happy is to be just like them – out, proud, bubbly, and flashy. Although the society today is still on the account of its grip of tolerance with which you need to be respectable in movement, dress according to your genitalia, feel affection only to opposite sex is extremely rigid. But, why do I soundly go out there and act as who and what I really am? There are numerous reasons and my reason is not the only one. Conflicts to the environment and society made hapless gaps of confusion within the person in me. But these gaps are to be filled with wonder, curiosity, and science that provide you that you’re not an outcast or some sort of societal leper but a vibrant ember in the pyre of evolution itself which made it proceed to an undying flame.

These conflicts of envy and disposition have generated at some point in my lifespan. These are inventions of free thinking, logic, reasons, lessons, morals, experiences, and emotions which subsequently divulge to a better and smarter me.

More Painful than Death

One of the reasons why I do not approve Death Penalty as capital punishment is that no criminal litigation is exceedingly faultless. Death, as punishment, is irreversible therefore the verdict must be thoroughly accurate and precise because the life you are taking away cannot be revived. This stand does not protect criminals but it does not save the guiltless either.

Second, the penalty will only decrease the pleasure of handing down the punishment to the criminal. If you put a convicted felon to death does it not make the afterlife a scapegoat from the incarnate suffering of the body? I mean, it’s not mythological, but the mere corporeal punishment of reclusion perpetua is a day-to-day misery of jail time. Who would want a criminal to simply lose his life only to evade the chances of everyday agony? Speaking of death and pain, it reminds of the immortal words of Theodore Roosevelt which says, “Absence and Death are the same – only that in Death there is no suffering”.

Third, the Penalty is viciously unchristian, inhumane and inconsiderate.

It is unchristian simply because life is given by God. Only such kind of being, if there were in existence, is capable of handling such judgement. Besides, the sacrament of forgiveness, which all of us christians continue to uphold, transcends the boundary of chaos and hatred to love – leaving us tranquil in the arms of God. Jesus never taught his disciples to curse the ones who wronged them nor kill them even. So, the practice of forgiveness is essential to Christian life. Don’t get me wrong, not only that it is religious but also rational. The impulse of vindication have caused human mind to resort to barbarity across cultures. Such as tribes who resort to the Law of the Talions but with wasteful relishes of vengeance – you take one, we take ten. Taking a life is not only irrational but also obsolete method of punishment.

Inconsiderate because it condemns us from our life by our mistakes. Reclusion perpetua is not inconsiderate because it gives a man a time to atone or suffer from his sins FOR LIFE, bail excluded.

The rarity of the Death Penalty served as a stepping stone towards the advancement of our Humanity. What makes our species differ from other animals is that we are “sapiens” – an animal of reason not of carnage, violence and brutality much like a beast. Death is not a good example to teach our citizens. The government is the rudder, the teacher. What the penalty teaches us is to surrender our life to the law which didn’t provided us life in the first place. John Locke have argued the essentiality of Life, Liberty and Estate, as Natural Law – but the last two are recoverable… the first is not. Therefore, the government must protect them at all cost. What similar to it is our life compared to a flower that it blooms without the mandate of the Law – all natural, god-given. The law is not powerful enough to stop the wilting of the flower but certainly not stifle it when it blooms. How could the law take away what is inherently provided? Besides, unusual methods of sending someone to die is outright cruel and inhumane.

The decisiveness of the new admin might have catalysed drastic changes, but I do not blame the President for such paralogical change. He is indeed the people’s President – well at least the vociferous majority. But the decisiveness of action ignores stronger reasons. And that puts number as the scale of Justice which as I recalled the handiwork of Pontius Pilate in the case of Jesus before the crowd that led the murderous Barabas to freedom. That is the problem, when the characters of the courtroom favours what they think is convincing not because it is the truth especially when witnesses under oath, lawyers or defendant are clad with deceit. The truth can even turn against the victim. Besides, what does the state do when indeed the litigant is condemned – thrown to a Death Row awaiting his final days to arrive for ten years which is as good as imprisonment. But, why do we need to kill? To exact vengeance? To know the truth? To silence? To quench our disgust for criminals? What exactly is the purpose?

It is good and more satisfying to accept this kind of penalty if the fact-finding body is always infallible. But all courts are not error-free in skinning the truth.

No amount of error is insignificant in a sentence such as this. Then if so happens, we serve our citizens no greater disservice by sending them to death when in fact they will be cleared later on when compelling evidence acquits the defendant. But Alas!… we have killed them when we could have just imprisoned them.

Just to remind, it took the life of our National Hero, Jose Rizal, which made me more skeptical about its infallibility on cases like Treason.

I hope the congress review the bill surely well.

Theme Painting: La Pietà de Michel-Ange
Capable

WHEN THE IRON TURNS GOLD

“The Iron Lady of Asia died fighting, in her sleep; she died unconscious.”

The entire Philippines was evidently shocked by the sudden demise of one of its treasured solon and perhaps the wisest among the senators who ever was and ever will be.

Lately, we were talking about her with my colleagues when a memory of the senator came to our curiosity that her public appearance seemed to be greatly diminished. One of them asked me, “Is she no longer a senator?” I regretfully replied to her, “No. Her term as a senator has ended and since she lost the last election she is once again a part of the private sector.”

I begin the recollection of my memory of her from the days when I was an inexperienced kid. I often see her in nighttime news reports often yelling, screaming, joking and scolding other officials that fit well in the vessel of a kleptocrat. As a result, my mother loudly extolled in the middle of the house that she voted for the lady and impersonates her finger-pointing libretto thus sounds the same intonations as the senator – this makes me laugh and feel anxious for my mother’s mental health because it’s silly; but I realized it’s just entirely for laughs in the end.

Anyhow, the impression the senator left to me is the sense of Justice. Her incessant “corruption-busting” campaign left a remarkable ink in my mind. Her words gave me the primitive fragments of my moral and political principles that will soon be developed throughout the years. In practice, I admit that when I overhear news that disgusts me concerning the way our politicians behave behind and in front of the closet, including their monkey businesses, there are times that I give furious comments regarding how should they treat the people and how should they do their jobs. When I do this, I oftentimes remember that there is one senator who knows what I am talking about and hear my voice. I was 10 years old at this and I know how dark the Philippine politicians are.

miriam-santiago

Image: Santiago’s Profile in the Hall of Awardees at Ramon Magsaysay Foundation Awards for Leadership

Compared to my former approvals, I am not the only one who rejoiced when she attacked one of the most reviled politicians who came from my home province of Cagayan. Just to give a clue, even his fellow Cagayanos did not approve to give him a continuation in controlling the better portion of Cagayan, industrializing the province for the foreigners, ecologically harming the environment by black-sand mining and concentrating political positions to his relatives and allies. No doubt, Cagayanos hate this man but the lady senator was out there reproaching the old man. I feel like the entire province’s voice was heard in minutes or her speech. Not to mention that she challenged him for a debate, that was an uppercut!

I also remember one of my classmates in High School who vocally declared her intense adoration to the Iron Lady. I recalled her saying that she wanted to be like the senator and we both dislike the people she comes to combat in the senate hall. We shared political views about the lady and habitually includes her in our deep conversations alongside scientific breakthrough, philosophical questions, psychological thoughts like the behaviour of our classmates and our own assessment to their attitudes and reasoning (we include the hypothetical influence of their synergy with their chums) and religious doctrines that often goes to the absurd tinkering with the concepts of each religion and cultural significance of that religion to the region. Yes, we could create a caboodle of thesis questions mounting from the senator’s recent statements and it ladders up at least not in the technical derivatives because we are just high school students.

This simply means that the senator might have influenced vast amount of the Filipino youths including me and my friends; and her persona fumes a lot of intellectual discussion with my friend alone. That is why her legacy has greatly defined the pillars of my political, philosophical and even moral beliefs. She is not just a senator or a woman; she changed my mind and almost certainly my life and future. I will never forget the teacher I never met.

Remembering the Iron Lady of Asia is pushing me to pursue a degree in Law. It ignites my inner sense of Justice, my belligerent and spirited side. I will jubilantly tell my children that she is one of the greatest people who influenced me and that they are fortunate to live in the day that she lived to tell her tale. Right now, one of my primary models to my moral, political and more like philosophical principles have peacefully passed away. The kind of Senator I will always elect, the epitome of Justice, the Woman we will never forget will never die for the Iron she wrought never rusts and eternally honed by her legacy to the Filipino youth, to the country and to the world.

The Iron Lady of Asia made her niches in our hearts, her memory resounds undying, and for the generations to come, lessons of principles, that is the time when the Iron turns Gold.

“In my view, leadership is the courage to take risks in defense of a position that is both legal and moral. The politician who tries to become a wise guy by becoming friends to everybody – corrupt or not – is not a leader.”
― Miriam Defensor Santiago, Stupid is Forever

Miriam Palma Defensor-Santiago (1945-2016)
Rest in Peace Madame The Great

#RIPMiriamSantiago #PaalamMiriam #MiriamShallReturn
(Black and White Image from Ramon Magsaysay Award Foundation Awardees Profile Section)

via Daily Prompt: Shine

Singles’ Policy

Why being single isn’t so bad after all?

We are all familiar in witnessing a couple cuddling, holding hands, smooching in public parks and all we might think, in inference, is how sweet and romantic they are. Some of our friends might be in a relationship too and they share to us a brief story of their experiences with their partner and how well they enjoy their partner’s company. We might also be familiar about the memes and inane depictions we see on social media regarding on being in a relationship compared to being single. We might often see pictures of both heterosexual and homosexual couples, posted in public visibility, about how they get along and how they love each other so much. We see it at first as a public display of affection but honestly there is a tingle of envy that lies somewhere inside of us.
Based on my own outlook in our social culture, there is an obscure divide between those who are in the relationship and those who are single (not to mention those friends who abandoned their friends just to have an intimate concentration in their new relationship); we think that to be in a relationship status is heavenly, glamorous, magical and it feels to be connected day by day and that in single life status we apt to feel miserable, pitiable, alone, unromantic of some sort and sometimes we likens it to being ugly which then causes insecurity, feeble signs of paranoia on growing old solo and sudden distress on our appearance.

Oh, no, no, no. Fear and fuss not. To be single is not entirely dismal but, in the other way around, even beneficial and favorable if we look at a certain perspective.

Let reason guide you with some of these opinions.

  • To love deeply means to suffer deeply.

    • We should be aware that a fairy-tale-like relationship is an odd, idealistic, ambitious and, more so often than not, very doubtful to happen. It is theoretically possible but as we should think more realistic it is somehow awfully unlikely in performance. As we know it, even long term or promising relationships can lead to unfortunate and negative endings. When the relationship do so meets its end the one which deeply fallen in love suffers the most costly backlash in recovery in emotional and psychological state.
    • That is because our attachment to one another, as humans, is made to last during the course of our evolution, when our attachment means our survival. But now, our attachment dictates that our dearly parted loved ones must become once again stay on our side yet they can stay no longer. So if you are new in a relationship and you are not warned in these predicaments better stay single until you are certain about the people you fall in love with. (Especially if you are planning to give the V-Card)
  • Passions can be temporary.
    • You, being at the receiving end of a hapless relationship, will grow weary of the fights, squabbles, nagging or infidelity your partner commits. And when we are piqued too much, we might stand and shout, “I had enough!”
    • Those who choose to be single shouldn’t be branded as unromantic at all. Actually, they might be romantic after all because they are careful not to end up at mediocre relationships which save others and one from boiling inner conflicts that seizes to explode.
    • Most of us, at first, might feel joyful and superb at the dawn of a relationship but when the fog starts to settle and the daybreak begins to scorch it is then we notice that something has changed in the way our partner deals with us. The mystery and excitement might have gone in the light of day. And it feels exhausting and that the laughter of our partner started to bore us. And when the sundown befalls us, we had enough. So we leave and find another one. Beginners or suitors do come jubilant and inviting in order to allure us because they expect something more from us, and when that expectation becomes insufficient your world can be as dark as night – as cynic as it may seem but passions really can be temporary.
  • We are not rational enough to be in a relationship.
    • It is rational and normal to be with someone or more specifically in a relationship; but it is even more rational to think that we cannot be with someone because we are not emotionally and psychologically prepared. Confusingly, we wanted to love and be loved at the same time. There are times we become subconsciously selfish and we collect every drop of love we deserve alright.
    • That is because we started to know love since we are a baby. As a child, it feels that our parents are always there to feed, clean, comfort, guide, support and carry us and he or she will go out as kind and cheerful no matter what. Our parents do not expose to us that they are tired, nearly sobbing, sleepy, angry, and growing impatient. Our relationship to our parents as an infant is almost and always one-sided; that they do not expect us to serve, comfort and feed them. As a child, we think that the spotlight is always on us that we don’t actually care about what our parents may feel about us but as long as they constantly take care of us we are satisfied.
    • That is why, as adults, when we say we wanted to be loved, we actually want to say that we wanted to be loved as our parents have loved us when we were once a child. There is no reciprocity as long as we receive care and attention from the person we love. We wanted our partner to give us what we want, be enormously tolerant and patient, selfless and just be willing to solve our own problems to make things better for our own. Point in fact; it is a catastrophe to any relationship especially if both of you longs to have the same. In our teen age, it is unlikely that we realize that kind of understanding because we are still a child in a developing body; unless you and your partner come up in to learn how to put yourselves ahead of significant others rather than acting childishly.
“The best guarantor of ending up in a good relationship is the capacity to be alone.”
-Alain de Botton
  • There are rooms for self-improvement.

    • Although being in a relationship also mean days of constant reminder that you are special, exceptional, beautiful and loving, it could also mean otherwise; that you’re difficult to please, strange and weird. Someone is there to make you accountable of a mistake, who blames you for the obstinate you are, to show you how deeply disappointing you are, someone who sees you routinely, and someone who shows you a mirror that you’re wrong. Coincidentally for you, if you’re single, you might manage to tolerate your own peculiarities and even adore them when you are on your own. #OnMyOwn
    • Without much person to rely and focus on, both the mind will work to for solely to you and you will be surprise to the wonders they carry. It is not necessarily inferior to be in a relationship for it is comforting but if you are single do not be upset because the mind creates a space for self-improvement. Why not channel that energy in loving the world – in that sense dream for the advancement of the society?
“Is it possible, finally, for one human being to achieve perfect nuderstanding of another? We can invest enormous time and energy in serious efforts to know another person, but in the end, how close are we able to come to that person’s essence? We convince ourselves that we know the other person well, but do we really know anything important about anyone?”
-Haruki Murakami
  • Predominant relationships’ configuration putrefies the true meaning of Love.
    • In the 17th Century, there is an emotional ideology called “Romanticism”. Hitherto, it developed in the minds of poets, artists, and philosophers alike and now consumed the idea of people on Love around the world up until now. The romantic outline took marriage as a necessary product of a promising, healthy, long lasting relationship. Then, Romanticism united the concept of Love and Sex. In it, Sex is a pure expression of Love and in consequence an irregular sex and adultery have been condemned. It also proposed that Love is the end of all loneliness, that a partner could understand us without even uttering a word! That our souls speak to each other in the same amplitude. (#SoulMate)
    • It came to a catastrophe when Romanticism also dictates that what matters beyond any consideration are feelings rather than reasonable thoughts. So far, it caused devastation to ordinary peoples relationships to live in fruitful emotional lives. That people only consider: people with inner and outer beauty strictly to be the one best for them without considering various details; they should feel from them joy in seeing them; keep no secrets from their partners; and they also expect that one’s relationship must stay persistently and that day-to-day problems are just challenges that needed to be conquered in order to last forever.
    • Romanticism has greatly affected our mind-set up until now. Considering the posts on social media about “Forever” and “Mr Right”, I do not doubt that Romanticism has been washed an inch or is removed from our culture even if the new millennium is in our time. When you’re newly or in a relationship or not, you must have expected that undeniably. And, a posteriori, when things are not on Romanticism’s’ point of view, your relationship will turn sour and in consequence end up in tears. Our contemporary customs and traditions about relationship must somehow be adjusted. In the meantime as the public is concern, relationships’ configuration today putrefies the true meaning of Love. And if you not knowledgeable enough on these matters to back yourself up then heartache is upon you.
The internal pressure building up drives us to find, in rush, the perfect, charming and elusive creature called the “Right One”. In the course of our modern world of social media, smart phones, computers, Wi-Fi, etc. our world became much smaller and our scope to peoples of the other side of the world has become utterly unlimited so we have set a sail on a modest venture to look for the one we are after; but in our determined stride of finding the “Right One” we meet of course the “Wrong One” and if you rush even more you can encounter a lot of heartaches and even end up marrying the “Wrong One”.
But if I am not so bold to ask myself, why am I not suggesting that it is like “more entries you send, more chances of winning” or in these case more chances of finding the “Right One”? If you are so keen on having many experiences why not; but is it really worth the cost? I leave the answers to you.
We should not be pushed to be in a relationship out of fear or shame of being alone later in life but in the essence that we love the person we are in a relationship no matter how long we wait rather than we are coerced to be into one.
For it is intrinsic to desire a partner, it must feel claustrophobic to be alone but you’re not alone actually. There are millions of unmarried people in the world clamoring and searching to find themselves from others and that won’t be a problem. Let us imagine and think that a genuine and special person as you are is worth finding painstakingly in the multitude. Yet of course, if we ignore the perils and troubles of the people who are in a relationship we might end up breathing the misery also.
The bottom line is we should not rush so much in being in a relationship or rush so much on choosing to be single. There are of course disadvantages on both statuses. Loneliness in the second whilst irritation, edginess, suffocation and disappointment in the first. To tell the truth, there will always be problems along the way whichever we select. However, if you’re not prepared to be in a relationship psychologically and emotionally it would be a bit much better to put your wager on the singles’ policy.
Theme Painting: “Alone in The Fog” – By Leonid Afremov
Footnotes:
 *This piece of essay was inspired by Alain de Botton and The School of Life and, in addition, the incessant inferiority sensation that teenage girls and boys feel on their current status. The author wishes to advise that you are not at the disadvantage all in all. The author also wishes to thank the people who responded as he asked vis-à-vis what it feels to be single or what are the reasons that they are single. Credits and Praises are on you.
 *The words written above are merely opinions of the author or the product of his research and inquiry regarding the goodness and benefits it may occur on being single. If the words may be in somewhat displeasing to the reader, be reminded that article wishes to inform and comment in the most inoffensive possible way rather than hurt. Nonetheless, positive and negative comments are welcomed as the reader is free to commend or challenge the opinions and details above.
 *Research and other search materials have a huge credit amount to the following and to learn more about the topic you can click the links below:
Cling
Reasons to remain single https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=350qUmbcAZU
Loving and being loved https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhyfBi-Ad4c
How Romanticism ruined Love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jltM5qYn25w&index=10&list=PLwxNMb28XmpcEwc0qydf2jSszQFSht81E